Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
