I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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