she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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