Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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