just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
