OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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