i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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