Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
