God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
