dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
