Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
