If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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