you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
