I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
