Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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