What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
