i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
