i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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