I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
