Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
