this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So vagazzling was a success
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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