I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
