i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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