I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
