I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
