He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
