do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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