I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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