so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
