is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
