**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
