she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
