Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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