i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
