i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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