I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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