Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
