who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Its about making memories worth repressing
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Someone shattered a urinal.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
