weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
