so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
