I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
