Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
