I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
