Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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