I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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