I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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