I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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