so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
