so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
