You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
