how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
