Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
